Day 2 Introspection

Hi! Today is Day 2 out of 1000 days blog challenge. Introspection is a good way to start this year 2016 so that I may choose wisely what else I am willing to allow for change to happen in different areas of my life. I discovered I love to write. That is why I started having this blog.

I have realized it’s been more than 2 years since I prayed the prayer of acceptance and more than a year ever since I got water baptized. If someone would look at my Christian life, I lack in good works or soul saving. I have read so many chapters in the Bible and many devotional books. People might say I am so full of head knowledge about the Bible. Other people say that people who only have head knowledge of the Bible are only “observers” and not a truly transformed Christian. The person who helped me prayed that prayer of acceptance was my college classmate way back in first semester of 2013. He was a guy and he didn’t mind that I am a girl and there are no ulterior motives. He has been a Christian ever since High School and been a Christian (Baptist) for more than 5 years now (maybe more I don’t know). He kept on encouraging us (his bible study group in the block section) to get transformed. Not only head knowledge but total change in body, soul and spirit. And I was blessed to be told by this friend of mine that he saw the fruit of the Spirit in my life during our college retreat. I was so touched because no one ever told me I’m already bearing fruit or I never thought myself to have bear fruit at that time (more than just a year as a born again Christian and just got water baptized for a few a month time). Maybe I wasn’t really just ‘observer’. At some points in my Christian walk, I was on fire for God and it just got lost.

I may not have the perfect assets. Scars became a part of me all over me. Burned scars at my right hand and arm. Stretch marks at my legs, hips and waist area. I have fat here and there. I am not tall enough. I have hooded eyes (which is difficult to perform beautiful eye shadows). I don’t have an angular jaw. I have plenty of body hair. I have oily face. I am not very talented in music. I am not an achiever. I have nothing to brag about in my CV resume or in my medicine admission application. Some of my plans don’t go as planned. I wasted my dad’s money on irrelevant online shopping. I have a huge debt to pay to my parents. And I feel I had not done so many good works for the Kingdom of Heaven.

I experienced so many emotional highs and lows with my relationship with God. Even to the point I am able to see the work of God’s hands in my life. Other times it was the extreme, I allow myself to be demon oppressed (through nightmares and sleep paralysis again). But all through my highs and lows, Lord Jesus Christ remained faithful to me.

As I continue on in this writing journey, I know I will grow holistically.


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