Day 41 To the guy who seriously broke my heart (part 1)

To the guy who seriously broke my heart 

©Rina
 

Open letter to the guy who seriously broke my heart. I doubt you would read this not in a million chances. But I want to pour my mind and heart out into writing in the hope of moving on.

June 6, 2011. The first day of college. It was half-day. My first co-ed after 11 years of studying in an all-girls school. You were the first guy I saw in the class. I was love at first sight for you. You are handsome, tall, smart, a person with initiative, a class clown, has an underbite, music lover, guitarist and a typical teenager. I didn’t know I already had a crush on you that turn into love. That’s why at first semester I always look towards your direction. That’s why I feel a butterflies in my stomach. We were close like friends at first semester. We became group mates until third year. I had many insecurities.

At second semester of first year, you grew apart from me. We became distant. You might not noticed that but I did. When you grew apart then I knew I fell for you. But I was still in denial then.

Second year came, I cut my hair short which made me less attractive. I also had an overbite which made me look uglier. I heard you had a crush on someone else. Then the feeling for you grew certain. I had a time I hallucinate you for my friend guy. (I thought I saw you for a second through my guy friend. My eyes surely did play tricks on me.)

By the end of second year, even if we were not so close I tried to confess to you. I couldn’t try to confess to you during class days so I confessed to you at the last day of the semester before summer, that was after Biostatistics exam. I had a dark blue origami rose which my friend taught me how to fold. I called you immediately after the exam and asked you if I could talk to you. It was at the hallway, several steps from the door we just went out. I was stuttering. I told you I like you. I gave you that origami rose scented with Victoria Secret encased in plastic wrapper. It had no stem. I prepared for that for one week. But it took only a few minutes to tell you. Now that I am a Christian what I did was not right. It so foolish of mine. After I confessed, I did not allow you to answer back. I let the summer passed by. I had my braces. Maybe the pain of braces gave me a whole new direction not to think of you. After several months after that, you told me in our online chat you appreciated me but you don’t like me. You also told me I should just find someone else. You don’t know during out chat I start breaking out a fever. The onset that I become heart broken. The onset that I become love sick. Maybe you did not know I was love sick. It was at that second year, you already found someone else. Too late for me. Simply too late, because you’re heart belongs to someone else.

To be continued…

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