Day 397 Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

It’s February, the love month or so they say.

I remember the time when I was head over heels my UST classmate. After I got born again, I still like him. And I would have this feel sensation in my heart whenever I’m around him. When I finally come to terms that he doesn’t like me (and he likes somebody else) and he is Catholic and that I should never see him again ever (partly why I didn’t study Medicine in UST).

Does “absence makes the heart grow fonder”? I do get attracted to good looking people and part of that is this someone. (I won’t elaborate because people in my current school knows my blog.) It’s been days since I last saw him. He is really good looking for me. When I finally saw him yesterday, the feeling I had when I was in college, I felt for him. And in my mind I DO NOT WANT TO FALL IN LOVE because I know it will be one-sided. I know in my mind, he might be homosexual. He is of different religion. He has different likes and dislikes from me. And we are not close friends. (Sure we’re friends in Facebook but we rarely talk in a daily basis). So every time he talks, I really avoid eye contact. I don’t know if that is my defense mechanism.

So I am teaching my heart now not to feel that cold minty feeling again because I don’t want to fall in love and feel broken just as how it was in college. I’d rather die young (I know that’s selfish) that push myself into someone who may not like me back. 

I think absence makes the heart grow fonder and feelings are deceiving for me.

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