I feel tired this morning because I tried to finish my headdress/ mask of Yosi Kadiri, the mascot of anti-smoking campaign of DOH-Philippines which I will use for my group’s health promotion presentation in our Famiy Medicine class. The nose don’t felt right because the nose of Yosi Kadiri looks like an eggplant. The base mask I bought has the usual pointy nose. It’s difficult to make it round especially on paper maché. I didn’t have any styro foam also that is round. So if it still looks ugly to other people’s eyes, I will really try to use polymer clay but not today cause I will be busy.
Last night I can’t stop thinking about my crush who I suspect is gay. But he is not openly gay. Who knows but God knows what’s in his heart. I was wondering will I still like him if he changed his hairstyle because his hairstyle from the moment I first saw him really suits him well and since then he has not changed it. Will I be less jealous if he likes a guy instead liking an actual girl because for me you know romantic liaison between males is not honorable to God? So if it’s not honorable to God, I will feel less jealous. But I will surely pity his soul if indeed he like a fellow male because he will be hurting God’s heart. And I really hope I will get to see him too in heaven even if the only difference between us is his Sabbath and 19th,20th century style of worship singing. Will I still continue liking him until our clerkship? And because I had those thoughts yesterday, I dreamt about him last night. It was awful. It’s like he tried to be gay. All I can remember in my dream is I shouted “Ayoko ng bakla!” (“I don’t like gay!”) Then I ran away. Then the ending of my dream was like I rode this mini boat like a weird not the usual kayak. There’s a swamp. And a load of other weird stuffs I can’t remember specifically. I guess I will like a guy who looks someone like him but hopefully he is not gay.